The Cyborg is dead, long live.....

And on it drags.

The workshop tech is making enquiries. I have asked them to ascertain if it is possible to just remove the whole assembly and drive the car safely without it. This seems to be taking some time. I'm thinking not, but it's an unclutched straw.



I am busy this week. Towards the back end of the week, when I get the chance to sit down and tick some boxes, I will ring the number Ed gave me. Thanks Ed.



When it briefly came home for what turned out to be a weekend prison release, I had a pair of those rather flash LED puddle light projectors ready to go in the bottom of the doors. The car wasn't here long enough for me to get to it. So I banged them into the F31 instead. They look fantastic. I'll get some for the X6 when it gets home.

 

Hope it gets sorted soon @Harry

Any pics of the puddle lights on the F31

Kev

 

@Harry I also wish you a quick solution.

Are the puddle lights a BMW part? I might think about some for my F30. Can you post a photo showing the light working?

 

Thank you both.

I originally bought some projector puddle LEDs from eBay for a tenth of what BMW want. They were brittle, did not wire up convincingly, looking like a lash-up that would work loose, but above all they didn't fit! I wondered if the full leather on the E71 might make them too tight, but when the F31 arrived, they wouldn't fit that either. I wired one up to see how it looked and thought it somewhat fuzzy and pale, if more interesting than the standard lights. The BMW items are bright, crisp, take less than 30 seconds to install and look fantastic. With the evenings getting darker earlier, I will have a go at taking some photos soon. They come with a choice of four lens patterns. Two BMW logos, one X and one M. I put the standard blue and white roundels into the F31.

 

I put some in the E91 (will take a photo if I remember later)
They're £56 from us last time i checked

 

I got some Porsche logo puddle lights for my first Panamera from a place in Bradford, looked really good, no error codes either. Were about £30.
Just waiting for ones to suit current car.

 

That'll be each, and not the set, I assume?

 

'set' of 2 my rear doors have the stock lights

 

LOL! You can spot a seasoned BMW owner a mile off. As Ed says John, they come in pairs. You wouldn't think so, but BMW seem to have missed a trick here. Let''s keep it between ourselves.

 

After a couple of false starts I contacted BMW customer service. They sat on my enquiry for a week. When I followed up they suddenly got all over it and said they would respond that day. Which they did. What essentially transpired was a brush off and a bounce back to my local dealer. The email response began “….. this probably isn’t the answer you were hoping for, but…..”. To say I was not impressed might be putting it a tad mildly.

I went straight for the Dick Lovett Bath principal. It turned out that they were still on the ball and as soon as he saw my name he got his business manager to ring me. The matter is discussed at least once a week at a meeting and the person handling it gives progress updates. Or to be honest, lack-of-progress updates, which is why they have tended not to keep in that loop. They don’t want to keep telling me that nothing is happening for fear I might explode, or something.

They have looked for a used part to fit until a new one is sourced. They haven’t found one that they can positively identify as suitable. Apart from compatibility there are H&S issues. I understand this. All they can do is keep apologising and keep reassuring me that they haven’t turned their backs. They offered me a better loaner. When I went in to collect it they were all lined up and waiting. Very professional, as opposed to impression conveyed by BMW central customer services, I am sad to report.

I’m now in an Undercoat White 330d auto. With a black leather interior. I would have killed for a car like this when I was repping. It’s a complete and slick package. It is remarkably refined and reasonably swift, in a drama free way. When you push it, it responds like a sorted car should and when you don’t want to build up lateral forces, it will smoothly convey you all day long without fuss. Yet for all it’s sophisticated assuredness, it feels bland overall. Rather non-descript. I haven’t driven Helen’s Touring enough to form a firm opinion, but I think I’m heading for the same place. Painless, competent, nothing to fault, much to like, nothing to praise. I guess this is how you become mass market seller. Take less risks, engineer in detail excellence, take out any character which might polarise buyers.

If I owned this car or used it as part of a work package, I could see myself being thoroughly content with it for work and utility, but I would hanker after something more fun, more old school BMW to drive for pleasure. The E36 had work and fun in good balance, but it wasn’t quite comfortable enough to go all day in, and it wasn’t tight enough when you wanted to drive it like you stole it. I thought the E46 was too soft for proper driving but better for work. Obviously, I’m talking about the cooking models, not the M legends of that era.

So, no progress to report, other than time elapsing which hopefully brings the day of the fix closer. I can see some serious good will in my future dealings with Lovett Bath. So what do you do when you’re bored and don’t have a pet car to pour over? I couldn’t resist one of these:

Sealey 3T air jack


The first one, which arrived yesterday was easy to assemble and hook up to my Sealey compressor. It can hurl a 330d into the air like a juggled ball. It’s got a big, soft, concave shoe, which I am only to painfully aware of, is what get me here to start with! It curves in the vertical axis so as to keep the shoe at right angles to the sill. Unfortunately, it had a leak which I could not fix. So after reaching a working height it would slowly but surely glide down again. One email to the seller (workshopping.co.uk) and a replacement from Sealey was here today, and the faulty one collected. Impressive. As is the jack. OK, it’s not necessary or all that cost effective for a civilian like me.. But it really is as quick and easy as it looks. It's maximum height is about 5cm over what I need to get the X6 off the ground. It's a tight squeeze under an F30.

 

I picked it up on Friday, all clean and shiny and rumbled home feeling very smug. It came with a new MOT at no cost. I received a health check video from the dealer mid-week, which tipped me off that the part had arrived, was fitted and the car was being MOT’d. They had told me that they were expecting it soon after October 4th and the estimate turned out to be good.

The drive home was uneventful. On Saturday I treated it to its LED puddle projector upgrade. A one-minute job per door. At least in theory. I went with the M logo for the X6M doors. The N/S popped out, hung down on the end of its loom, and was swapped out in less time than it takes to describe it. On to the O/S door and the light would unseat but would not drop. A little tug and I’m holding the light. But no wires were hanging from the hole in the underside of the door trim. Bloody typical! Then it got complicated.

I don’t have any trim pulling tools. I know that it is easy to do but I didn’t want to improvise on my full leather door trim with no previous experience. I tried pulling by hand, but I didn’t put too much force on it. Credit card wouldn’t do it and a tape covered flat screwdriver looked too vicious. I rang the dealer and asked to speak to a service adviser. However, the lady on the front desk will only put you through if you are enquiring about work that is booked or in progress. To start from square one, you must speak to the booking people.

I explained the situation. He put me on hold, then came back to inform me that it was a one-day job and he was booking for mid-November. I told him that he was being ridiculous, and procedure should sometimes be tempered with a bit of common sense. How about if I drop it in for someone to take a quick look at? If after an inspection it is required for a long slot, I will book one. No. That was far too flexible and he could not accommodate such slackness and unruly behaviour. I then phoned the body shop. Long story short, I turned up, they gave me a coffee and I hadn’t taken as much as one sip before it was back and fixed. The loom had become snagged. It wasn’t damaged and the requisite two inches of hanging wire was now available as normal.

Then, on the way home, this happened:




Then again, the following day. So, it’s now booked in for 3 days in December and the service manager has been fed back to about the corporate lapse in judgement over my two-minute quick fix enquiry. He suggested that I took contact details of service advisers and talk to them direct, or to him, if I had any out of scope requirements or favours to ask. That’s reasonable. What’s wrong with the car? I expect it’s probably a speed sensor. The 750 was an absolute sod for throwing up one of these after another. This is the first time the X6 has misbehaved. I hope it’s a one off.

They will also fit one of those boot divider, luggage management systems which anchor to the floor. Helen's car has one. It's brilliant. I always thought it was a gimmick. It isn't - if you regularly carry things which you don't want falling over or sliding about.

 

Great result / return, that’s been a long time
Re the 4x4 message, is it possible, steering angle calibration caused by a run down battery as the car has sat idle for some time ?
Connecting the charger and a recalibration by turn steering wheel full right lock then full left lock, back to centre may cure
Hopefully nothing more serious and free to check

Regardless, hope all is well soon

 

As Sean says, our cars don't like anything out of the ordinary. I had the warning flag up for my Active Steering after the car had been jacked quite high at one side on the rear. I was applying Waxoyl to a component underneath [active rear a/roll bar for the Dynamic Drive which had a covering of surface rust] at the same time as swapping over on to winter rims/tyres.

Had a run round the block and it was persisting, but before I got to the fix @snrbrtsn alludes to the next day, all was back to normal.

 

Excellent suggestion Sean. Thank you very much. I can and will do that today.

Thank you both

 

Active Steering, Dynamic Drive, Comfort Seats.... that's a nice big pile of spec you're driving around on John. It must feel good.

 

Indeed it does, Harry. Not to forget the Adaptive Xenons too. Comfort seats are the dog's danglies - heated, cooled, adjustable side bolsters, and with massage function . Although starting to show her age now at 131k miles and 15 years.

 

Massage too. It must be like going on holiday.

Enjoy.

 

Towards the end of November, Beast was in to have a sensor fault investigated for a few days. As predicted by our in-house knowledge base, it turned out to be a steering angle sensor. I had tried a manual reset, but it took a workshop to find it and do it properly for some reason.

I got something fun sized to play with.



Will you look at that cute little fella now willya. Who couldn’t love it? As it happened, I had a couple of days of city bumping and grinding to get through, so Sonny Jim was put to good use. I know there’s only so much you can do with the packaging, but boot space is a joke. As it was on the original. The 1960s icon was also Tardis-like in the cabin and the Mk3 homage continues to get this right. All in all, a very nice little car. Charming like the Mk2 wasn’t. A good drive over short and medium distances. Again, in my view, considerably easier to drive and more comfortable than the Mk2.

Although I couldn’t put my theory to the test, I believe it’s the perfect height to stand on to wash the X6.

While the X6 was in for its diagnostics, I had a boot organiser system fitted. This looks exactly like a gimmick. However, Helen’s 320 came with one fitted. The X6 variety is more configurable and not a gimmick – unless you drive with an empty boot at all times.

This week it was off to the detailer to have it’s post body shop paint correction done. Having stood around for months in a workshop, uncovered, it was inevitable that a chemical film would develop. In addition, the resprayed panels needed re coating and all the over spray, scratches and marring that the body shop so lovingly put on it when they were repairing it, needed to be corrected.



In the end, he machined everything off and applied Crustal Serum Ultra with a top coat of Exo over the whole car. With one annual check-up, it’s covered for ten years. Funnily enough, ten years is about as long as it feels since I last had this car at my disposal as a daily driver. It’s been a bit of a wonky year, although it was as good as gold for two fun-packed years of driving before I damaged it back in Spring, and all the non-fun started.



As ever, they did a fabulous job and it seems a shame to get it all dirty by driving it.

Yes, those are mud flaps fitted. Not sure if they are such a good idea? Me neither. They are easy enough to get off, but I think they will probably stay on. The amount of muck clinging to the sills and rear lower quarters has significantly reduced. An estimated reduction of around 75% would not be an exaggeration. As well as being cleaner, looking nicer, and leaving less dirt on clothing if you forget to avoid it when getting in and out, the flying debris impact damage is considerably reduced also. You could argue that they visually lift the car off the ground. To my eyes, they visually do the opposite, tending to pull the car closer to the ground. This I like.



And speaking of like, look at what else was in being corrected.



They were also doing corrections on a Mini and an X5. But I barely noticed them. Not surprising really. I nearly bought one once. I think that window has now closed. I suspect I would only have liked the looks and the engine. Which, for a time, would probably have been enough.

 

wow car looks great @Harry, like the Mustang too!! Nice colour! is that the Bullet edition?

I had been considering a mini as an alternative but maybe the countryman or clubman for bit more boot space..Not seen them in person yet, just getting ideas.

Kev

 

That there red thing does look rather stunning!